he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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