I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
do nipples grow back?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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