How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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