I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
