I must be too annoying 4 u.
Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I feel like I'm in dance class right now
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize