Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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