pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Randomize
