I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
