I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
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Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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