For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
