I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Randomize
