im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize