The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
