That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
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