already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.