Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?