Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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