you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
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