Texts From Last Night

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  (678): View more from Georgia

  He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".

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  (678): He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird". http://tfl.nu/qpoq
  Replies (70) Good night (1697) Bad night (4463)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?

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  (570): Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning? http://tfl.nu/o1k1
  Replies (39) Good night (4173) Bad night (1846)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.

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  (913): some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night. http://tfl.nu/2xhx
  Replies (18) Good night (9739) Bad night (944)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift

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  (319): You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift http://tfl.nu/3fcv
  Replies (20) Good night (4971) Bad night (692)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen

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  (510): well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen http://tfl.nu/tcr3
  Replies (20) Good night (762) Bad night (5390)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door

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  (413): Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door http://tfl.nu/oj7i
  Replies (57) Good night (1650) Bad night (9836)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.

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  (407): sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch. http://tfl.nu/v1iz
  Replies (47) Good night (12343) Bad night (1415)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!

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  (512): On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!! http://tfl.nu/5462
  Replies (2) Good night (2403) Bad night (941)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.

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  (207): She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk. http://tfl.nu/dswf
  Replies (9) Good night (997) Bad night (2426)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.

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  (203): Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed. http://tfl.nu/aqi9
  Replies (6) Good night (3860) Bad night (1211)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?

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  (724): My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's? http://tfl.nu/cp3t
  Replies (14) Good night (2642) Bad night (748)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.

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  (901): We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults. http://tfl.nu/zv4y
  Replies (5) Good night (1014) Bad night (712)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine

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  (904): Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine http://tfl.nu/8y9j
  Replies (0) Good night (821) Bad night (429)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"

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  (425): I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours" http://tfl.nu/sls8
  Replies (3) Good night (975) Bad night (329)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face

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  (315): Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face http://tfl.nu/0m4l
  Replies (3) Good night (721) Bad night (297)

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