Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
