I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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