the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
