i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize