Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
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