i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
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