Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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