my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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