i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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