Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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