I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
