I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
