I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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