I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
