i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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