I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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