Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
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