your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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