The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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