Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
