I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
