So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
