idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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