i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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