You just made me feel so damn special
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Randomize
