these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
