Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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