Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize