And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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