So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
