Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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