that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
