You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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