question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize