Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Randomize
