I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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