I am in a vortex of obligation.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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