Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
