and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
