I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Randomize
